DNF - The Outside by Laura Bickle

Wow.   I just... What the hell just happened? I rarely pass comment on the books I DNF, but I can't get my head round this one. W.T.F?

Were they even written by the same person?  I can't even.  

I barely know where to begin. 

Disappointed!!

 

Review - Dead Road Vol. 1 by Robert Paine

Paperback: 51 pages
Publisher: Smashwords 
Publication date: 07 July 2013

ASIN: B00DTXDRAA

It was supposed to be a relaxing vacation. It turned out to be the complete opposite...

A camping trip in the mountains of Vermont is interrupted when a group of friends discover there has been a zombie outbreak. Having been disconnected from the world for the past week, and one of their group already bitten, the friends have to make their way down the mountain and find safety.

Can the group cover miles of dark woods on foot while trying to avoid getting overtaken by the undead? What caused the outbreak? Are there any other survivors?

Just a little mini-review because it's just a little mini-story.  I don't know why I keep trying these serial stories... Oh wait, I do...The first parts are free! 

51 pages.  It's like a couple of chapters worth and not very satisfying.  The story itself had potential but too much of my reading time was spent picking out typos and tense slippage and wishing ill luck on the characters as they were tstl. 

Ok, so imagine this - You're a guy and and you and two of your spooked guy friends are being chased down a mountain track by a pack of zombies.  There are probably a couple dozen of them and they're only 5 minutes behind you on the trail.  You stop for a second to catch your breath and a stray zombie stumbles out of nowhere and knocks you flat and tries to eat you.  Your friend takes a hatchet to it and eventually stoves it's head in.  It's all good but when you get up off the ground you notice there's zombie gunk on the back of your jeans.. Oh noes!.  It's stinky and messy!  

Do you:

• a) Say "Whatev's" and keep running down the mountain because you just wasted 4 minutes of your 5 minute lead while fighting off the stray one?  

Or:

• b) Strip off your pack, your hiking boots,  your jeans and your socks, root around in your pack for clean jeans and barely get your new pair of jeans on before you see the minute lead that you had on the zombies has actually now dwindled to about 10 seconds which results in you taking off barefoot to complete the last 9 miles of the mountain hike to the bottom?

Our MC chose poorly.  He went with option 'b'.  

Yeah, I know...  Give me a break! 

It just goes downhill from there (no pun intended) and I stopped caring about how stupid it was because I knew I only had about 5 more minutes until it was finished. 

It'll come as no shock to hear that I won't be buying any further into the series.

Review - The Hallowed Ones by Laura Bickle

Paperback: 384 pages
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Publication date: 25 September 2012
ISBN13: 9780547859262

Katie is on the verge of her Rumspringa, the time in Amish life when teenagers can get a taste of the real world. But the real world comes to her in this dystopian tale with a philosophical bent. Rumors of massive unrest on the “Outside” abound. Something murderous is out there. Amish elders make a rule: No one goes outside, and no outsiders come in. But when Katie finds a gravely injured young man, she can’t leave him to die. She smuggles him into her family’s barn—at what cost to her community? The suspense of this vividly told, truly horrific thriller will keep the pages turning.

Is this a Movie yet?!! If not, why not?!! 

I've been wanting to read a story featuring the Amish for quite a while now and have been collecting interesting ones when I find them.  I've had this one since it first came out but was put off a bit as I think it's YA.  I don't usually get much from YA stories but there are always exceptions, plus I was also in the mood for something end-of-the-world-y so I figured I could use this one to kill two birds with one stone.  I wasn't sure what I was getting into as Vampire apocalypse and the Amish don't really go together...Turns out they go together like PB & J!!

I. Loved. It.  Simply wonderful.  I lapped it all up and the only reason I didn't finish it in one day was that I had to sleep, otherwise I'd have ripped through it.   

Great writing, great storytelling, great characters, great dialogue, great everything.  Plain folk and scary vampires, what's not to love?! 

I've heard that the next one isn't as good but I'm going to try it anyway and I'll hopefully get to it this week while it's all still fresh in my mind as I'm keen to see what happens next.  Especially if the Bishop meets a grisly end. 

Review - Red winter by Drew Montgomery

Paperback: 291 pages
Publisher: 3.5 Miles Behind Stage Publishing
Publication date: 13 Apr 2013

ASIN: B007U92R4Q

Accounts of the plague are few and far between. No one knows how it started or how it spread so quickly, and even in the era of social media, little was recorded. There were, however, a few who struggled to keep hope alive, to maintain a semblance of normalcy in the face of panic. This is the blog of one such person, unaltered and unedited so that the world may know of the last days of life as we know it.

The fall of humankind told through one man's blog in the suspenseful prologue to The Plague, now available.

I found this one deep down in the far reaches of my kindle shelves so it must have been there some time as I rarely venture down there these days.  I'm guessing it must have been a freebie at some point because I wouldn't pay the current price of £0.99 for it.  It's 33 pages long.  Granted, it's not too terrible as short stories go, but still...33 pages. 

It's not without some typo's and at least one slippage in tense but overall it was entertaining while it lasted.  I'd actually be happy to read a full book about this apocalyptic world. The zombie apocalypse is always something I can get behind and rarely tire of and this was a nice addition.

It's set out in a sort of blog format and is written by a survivor on his own (If his name was given I don't remember it).  The blog entries are spaced out over about a month and it's nicely done and the pacing is good.  The ending was satisfying but I wish it could have gone on for longer.  It's quite hard to find good zombie fiction that is just about the surviving aspect but this one ticked most of my boxes so a bit disappointed it wasn't longer.  I see that the author has a longer one available called Plague though so I'll give that one a try too. 

Review - Nowhere But Home by Liza Palmer

Paperback: 384 pages
Publisher: William Morrow
Publication date: 02 Apr 2013
ISBN13: 9780062007476

Queenie Wake, a country girl from North Star, Texas, has just been fired from her job as a chef for not allowing a customer to use ketchup. Again. Now the only place she has to go is home to North Star. She can hope, maybe things will be different. Maybe her family's reputation as those Wake women will have been forgotten. It's been years since her mother-notorious for stealing your man, your car, and your rent money-was killed. And her sister, who as a teenager was branded as a gold-digging harlot after having a baby with local golden boy Wes McKay, is now the mother of the captain of the high school football team. It can't be that bad…

Who knew that people in small town Texas had such long memories? And of course Queenie wishes that her memory were a little spottier when feelings for her high school love, Everett Coburn, resurface. He broke her heart and made her leave town-can she risk her heart again?

At least she has a new job-sure it's cooking last meals for death row inmates but at least they don't complain!

But when secrets from the past emerge, will Queenie be able to stick by her family or will she leave home again? A fun-filled, touching story of food, football, and fooling around.

Mostly I pick which book to read next based on cover alone.  When I first buy the book I skim the blurb to see if it's in the ballpark of something I'd like and to make sure it's got nothing in it that would turn me off.  After sitting on my kindle or bookshelves for eons I've usually long forgotten what it's about by the time I finally get around to reading it.  I rarely if ever read the reviews for books I'm about to read either so I go in blind most of the time. 

I read across all kinds of genres so my shelves are a total mismatch and riot of covers and I never know what I'm in the mood for until one of the covers calls to me.  

This cover called.  From the looks of it I had thought it might be a quirky Small Town Romance but it's sooo much more. Actually, I wouldn't even call it a romance, it's just Small Town but I still love this book!

I'm never very good at giving a quick run through of plot and there's just so much to this one that I barely know where to start with it but long story short...

The names of the MC and her sister actually threw me a bit in the beginning and took a while to grow on me but eventually I just loved everything about them, including their names.  Queen Elizabeth and Merry Carole.

Queen Elizabeth (Queenie), is a talented chef and originally from a small Texas town (North Star).  She has spent the past ten years moving from one job to another and from big city to big city to try and outrun her past which has left her with a lot of emotional baggage.  Top of her baggage list would be - Being raised by an uncaring and at times cruel mother who had a taste for other women's husbands, a town full of mean girls and snobby first families who took delight in letting her (and her sister Merry Carole) know they were considered trash, and a broken heart from the man she's loved since they were in junior school together.  After losing her latest catering position and tied accommodation she returns home to North Star to try and collect her thoughts and see where she should run to next. 

While she's considering her options on where to head next she's offered a position as chef at the local prison, with the responsibility of cooking the Last Meal for prisoners on Death Row.  

It all sounds a bit bleak, no?  Just take another look at that cover though... It's a story about finding yourself and making your own luck and laying your demons to rest by meeting them head on.  It's such a great story and I'm selling it short and probably turning a lot of people off it but it's brilliant. 

For all it sounds depressing it's actually really heartwarming and the characters are vivid and funny and likeable and the Texas setting just came to life for me.  I loved every single thing about this book.  Everything!

I'm rambling.   I find it really hard to put into words how I feel about 5* books but I want to let as many people as possible know that this is a great read.  My mum isn't much of a reader but I pick out two or three titles a year to pass on to her as being special and this one went straight to her house. 

I'm going to go now and buy all Liza Palmer's other stories and although I may take my time in getting to them I know that when I do they'll be written by someone who knows how to tell a story.  This lady can write!

DNF - The Rich are Different by Susan Howatch

Kindle: 566 pages
Publisher: Sphere
First Publication date: 15 Mar 1977
ISBN - 9780751553123

First lines - "I was in London when I first heard of Dinah Slade. She was broke and looking for a millionaire, while I was rich and looking for a mistress. From the start we were deeply compatible."

1983 Synopsis - Dinah Slade was young enough to be Paul Van Zale's daughter. But she didn't care. She was a very ambitious and beautiful woman with her eye on Van Zale's tremendous fortune. However, she hadn't counted on falling in love. Paul found himself attracted to Dinah in a way he had long forgotten. Her vitality, her sensuality, consumed him. With her he could forget his past, his wife, his enemies, his empire....

2013 Synopsis - When ambitious, exciting Dinah Slade becomes passionately - and dangerously - involved in the private and public life of American millionaire Paul Van Zale, it is the beginning of a violent battle over his business empire and a ruthless struggle by two women to win his heart. We follow the fortunes of Dinah Slade from the boardrooms of Wall Street across the ocean to the Norfolk Broads, from the Roaring Twenties to the Great Depression and the Second World War. For two decades she stakes everything on winning the fight, in business and in love - and at any cost ...

Urgh, I'm so disappointed.  This cover caught my eye years ago and I added it to my wishlist because I was so drawn to it (I'm shallow, yeah).  Finally got it on my kindle and it has gathered dust there until I finally cracked it open.  I didn't have the first clue what it was about, other than it was to do with rich folk and the Wall street crash of the 1920's.  Good enough.

The first chapter was promising.  Second chapter ended and it was game over.

I can't even remember the names but we'll call him 'Rich guy' and we'll call her 'Little girl'.  God knows how old he was but kept talking about his 'front hair', whatever the hell that was (but I do know it was on his head o_0) and she was 21.  He's a rich American banker and she's a stupid English girl who needs to borrow money to save her Estate in the country.

The first thing he wants to know about her when he finds out that she wants to meet with him is, "Is she a virgin?" 

Well, it turns out she was, right up until he combed his front hair and took 40 seconds to remedy that situation.  Ack!.  Whatever.   I just can't do it.

I've just found out it was written in 1977 and was probably considered racey back then but now...it's just lame. 

Lots of people seem to like it and I know I'm in the minority, but it's not for me.

DNF.

Review - Mountain Man by Keith C Blackmore

Kindle: 514 pages
Publisher: Create
Publication date: 15 Dec 2011
ISBN: 9781475298659

Boomstick.
Samurai bat.
Motorcycle leather.
And the will to live amongst the unliving.

Augustus Berry lives a day-to-day existence comprised of waking up, getting drunk, and preparing for the inevitable day when "they" will come up the side of his mountain and penetrate his fortress. Living on the outskirts of a city and scavenging for whatever supplies remain after civilization died two years ago, Gus knows that every time he goes down into undead suburbia could be his last.

Not really a review exactly, more of a, "This is a summary of my review" kind of post. I'm all about the feels when it comes to reading so sometimes I don't even know why I like something, I just know that I do.  This is one of those times... 

I listened to the prequel of this series last year when it was free on audible (might still be free) and really liked it.  The Hospital  was creepy and chilling and exactly the sort of zombie apocalypse book I like to read...survivors scavenging about.

The narrator R.C Bray did a great job and the hour long short story made me go and get the next part, Mountain Man as soon as I'd finished it.

I did like Mountain Man. I liked the characters and the scene setting and the dialogue but the action scenes were a bit much to take in.  Might have been better reading it but listening to it just went too fast to catch it all. It was a bit like the difference between watching a ninja fight scene and having someone write down all the moves for you at the speed they take place.  It just all moves too fast to take in.  "He put this arm there and then that other leg here and then the knife cut over there while he spun back to here and grabbed this other thing which he used to smack that other guy....."  Too much for me to take in when the narrator has quite a fast reading pace.  I just couldn't visualize it fast enough. 

Good story though and very well told. I really like Gus the lead character and have already bought the next one in the series.  I think the next one is about Gus' friend Scott so I'll see how that goes.  I like Scott well enough but I like Gus more.

I may come back and re-do this when I collect my thoughts.  Maybe.