A post over at Book Chick City struck a chord with me earlier. The question is a simple one. "Do you lend books?" The answer dredges up an examination of my relationship with books (and my mother).
Me? I don't lend books. But, I do give books.
I've got quirks when it comes to books that have been bought or recieved as 'new'. Although, they don't seem quirky to me. To me they seem normal. I've got different levels of 'normal', depending on the state of the book when it reaches me but overall my reading style appears unnatural compared to those around me. My nerves couldn't handle it if I lent books to anyone who didn't have the same quirks. Trouble is, those people are few and far between in my circles. They're non-exixtent in my circles to be honest, so it's just toruture to lend with the expectaion to get them back in the same state as they left me.
I just plain give my books now, once I've read them. I never expect to see them again once they leave me.
My mum mostly gets them. She's a book criminal. Folded pages, spines cracked so she can lay them opened and face down to keep her place, pages used to write telephone numbers on while she's on the phone (it's not unheard of for her to write the tel number on the cover, either), left lying in the conservatory on a scorching summer day so that the cover bleaches and the plastic peels a little ...you name it, she does it.
She loves to read though so I keep my lip buttoned. Besides, it would just give her one more reason to rip into my character flaw's if I mentioned how I felt about what she was doing to my books so I just gift them, call them hers and move on. She thinks I'm a book weirdo. She is quite judgemental of things/people that are alien to 'her way' so my book idiosyncrasies are best kept to myself for the most part. Don't want to give her any more ammuniton than she already has.
I'll give her a book I've finished and she'll say "Did you not read this one, it looks brand new?..."
Yeah, mum, seeing a pattern here?
So now I just give. It's her's as soon as it leaves my hands. It's hers to read, enjoy and mangle.
I have a few book's that I wouldn't dream of letting out of my sight and for those sacred books I usually buy another copy and give that out instead.
Then there are the books that come to me in less than pristine condition. Sometimes from friends but mostly from the UK swap site READ IT SWAP IT. Those I just read, enjoy and pass on. Sometimes to friends or family but mostly back into the system on RISI. They don't leave me in any worse shape than when they arrived but they're not treated with kid gloves either.
When all is said and done, it's just a book. Some books are more than the sum of their parts though and those are the books that are safely shelved and touched by nobody but me. Whatever someone does with their book once I've passed it on isn't my concern.
How does everyone else feel about lending? Do your book quirks get in the way of your book sharing? I'd love to know if I'm the only one with book peculiarities.
Let me give you a big ol' hug, because I feel exactly like you and, believe me, I got the "Did you even read this book?" more than once myself.
ReplyDeleteBook abuse should be a punishable crime, if you ask me. I once blogged about the topic too: http://the-book-garden.blogspot.com/2011/06/pajama-musings-book-abuse.html
So, do I share or lend books?
Not a chance. I do give books away just like you do. Out of sight, out of mind. And I'm not that squeamish with used books which I'll usually hand on after reading too, but books bought new will always remain in pristine condition, with only subtle signs of wear (if at all).
So, you see, you are sooo not alone with this :-D !!
I followed you from Book Chick City. I feel the same exact way. If you read my comment on the other post, you'll see I have once (or twice) mourned the loss of a beloved book. I remember when I was in grade school, my teacher let me borrow a book. For some reason it was crunchy. I asked why and she said she read it in the bathtub and fell asleep and it dropped. Ummm!!!! How dare you treat a book with so much disrespect. That was when I decided not to let many other people borrow books because who knows? They may all read and sleep in bathtubs.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit that I am one of those bad, bad people who crease spines. But that is the only bad habit I have with books. I always use a bookmark, never bend a page or write in a book. I don't loan my books. I did this once when I was a teenager (all of my VC Andrews books, and I had them all) and never got them back. The person I loaned them to loaned them to someone else and I later found out one of my aunts sold them in her yard sale!!! So now, I might loan to a specific person (sister) but not if I am really interested in getting it back in perfect shape. Usually, I will just give the book away. If it is something that I want to keep, no one is touching it, lol.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad my post on @bookchickcity inspired you to write your own post :-) I'm actually shuddering on the idea of your mum writing telephone numbers on the book or even worse the book cover - I think I would have a bit of a fit lol.
ReplyDeleteThis post made so much sense to me. It’s like my skin starts itching when someone wants to “borrow” one of my books. And I’ve learned by trail and error that some people are just not to be trusted with –my- books. They don’t appreciate them as much as I do, those people I now tell to get a library card.
ReplyDeleteBut it also depends on the book, some never ever leave my shelves. Some I only trust my sister with, because she knows how weird I am with books. Some I can lend to others, but I always write down who has what book and I went it back. I’ve lost to many already.
Also want to say that I love your blog. And your “book idiosyncrasies”. I put your blog button on my page.
- Jo.
I am right there with you! I can't lend books anymore because I take their condition personally. So, I keep the ones I have read (that I love and can't part with) on my shelf. All others I give to my mom (most of the time) and friends. I also donate books that I didn't like a lot (or that I don't know anyone who would enjoy them)to the library- because someone else might like them. If I borrow a book I tend to keep it in great shape.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing!
~Jess
http://thesecretdmsfilesoffairdaymorrow.blogspot.com